For several months now I have been beating myself up because I have an office full of awesome fun things with which to create beautiful things – cards, gifts, home decor, whatever. It’s crafty heaven for me. And yet I have avoided that space like the plague.
I’ve walked into my office every few days thinking “I really need to make something” and then would just look around before walking back out again. I had no idea where to begin or what to do. I’d sit down to make a card and I would get bogged down with all the options and would end up not making anything. I’d see pictures of things my friends were making and think “I really ought to get creating stuff again!” But I’d do nothing.
I spent the last few weeks thinking long and hard about why I was feeling this way, why I was avoiding this space. It didn’t make sense to me really. I love to make things. I have a need to be creative every day. I have missed doing it. So what was stopping me?
Expectations and lack of purpose.
I have realized two things about myself in the last few weeks.
1. I was setting expectations for myself that were impossible for me to achieve, based on past circumstances rather than on present conditions.
2. I need a reason to create something, a purpose. I can’t just sit down and make something for the sake of making something.
So I’ve made some changes in my head and it’s affected everything!! I changed my expectations – I’m out of practice and I can’t expect that I’ll be churning out beautiful things quickly and easily like I once did. I’m going to have to labor over them like I did when I first began to make pretty things and I need to relearn the skills I had before. And that’s okay. I’ve also changed how I approach things – I’m looking for reasons to make things, to create things and I am finding them everywhere! And with that change, I’ve made several things in the last couple of days and I have ideas for more!
I’m no longer looking in the door of my office and feeling guilty about not using it. I’m not feeling the pressure that I was before. Who knew a simple change of perspective would change everything?