“Buh-bye!” Liam called to my friend and her kids as they pulled out of the driveway this morning. She’s is Emily & Isaac’s home teacher for this next year of school. We had just spent the previous 2 hours going over the Student Learning Plans for both of the kids.
As I sit here with all these plans going through my head, I have to admit that I feel a little overwhelmed by the magnitude of what we are taking on. Transitioning from going to school every day to homeschooling is a HUGE transition, especially at the ages my kids are at – Grade 8 & 9 respectively. It’s a decision that hasn’t been made lightly and is one that, especially now, I am feeling excited about. But OH MAN! I also feel like someone is standing behind me, as I stand on the edge of a platform looking down into the pool below, saying “1-2-3….!” and about to push me over the edge.
The nerves are starting to kick in and I am feeling both a rush of excitement at what is coming as well as fear. This homeschooling thing is about to get VERY real here in our home!! EEK!
So much to do in the next few weeks as we prepare for the start of school, so many questions need answered. What are our days going to look like? Where in the house are we going to do our schooling? How are we going to handle things like lack of motivation or desire to school? How am I going to handle the responsibilities of house and home and now school?
WHAT IF WE HATE IT???
That last question is really the one that has me the most nervous. I am confident that not enrolling my kids in the local high school for the coming year is the best thing for them. But despite the fact that I am sure of that, and I am confident that enrolling them with Traditional Learning Academy is going to be a good fit, I’m still a little concerned – no matter how great our next year might look on paper, what if we can’t stand spending so much time together? What if we can’t find a good balance between work and fun? What if the kids’ won’t listen or we end up butting heads all the time? What if the whole thing just ends up being an exercise in frustration?
On the flip side of those nerves and questions is the excitement. My friend and I had fun making plans and it’s going to be even more fun to finalize and execute those plans. It’s going to be great to see how the kids handle the project based learning we’re planning for them. I have high hopes….and I’m counting on the fact that hundreds of families embark on this journey together every year and do so successfully. Plus Traditional Learning Academy has a fantastic program and we have a great group of people backing us.
So I guess it’s time….
3 – 2 – 1 – GO!!!
Tonight is one of those nights when I have so many thoughts in my head that I want to put down on paper but none are really flowing or they just aren’t worth publishing. It’s the worst kind of “writer’s block” ever – at least when I have NOTHING in my head to write about I can usually find a prompt somewhere to get things started. On night’s like tonight I can’t sleep because of all the thoughts but I also can’t quite corral them all to get them out so the chatter quiets down.
Some of the thoughts swirling around in my head tonight center on the following topics: marriage, parenting, high school relationships, babies, tent trailers, future dreams, writing a book, Flylady principles, stamping & card making, business ideas, complicated romances, babywearing & wraps, breastfeeding, sleep. Yea….there’s a lot of thoughts. Some that might be worth sharing at some point and others that will remain just where they are – in my head.
Also in my head tonight is the plans for tomorrow – we’re heading out to where Jillian & Ian live and have their market garden. Jillian is Tim’s daughter. We’re going out to help them with harvest tomorrow. Then home to tidy the house, nap and prep dinner – we’re having my Aunt & Uncle over for dinner tomorrow. It’s going to be a good day….if only I could get some sleep! I really need to get out of my head!
Does that ever happen to you? What do you do to quiet the chatter?
The sun is setting behind me as I sit in the rocking chair with my back to the window. It has been a full day for Liam and I, a day filled with new people amd experiences. I like days like today but I must admit I’m not sure if I like the day itself or the quiet togetherness I know we’ll get to have at the end of it.
Two words I whisper every night as I lay my baby down to sleep. I’ve been whispering those same two simple words for years now as my children have gone to bed.
Two words packed with so much meaning: Sleep well. Only beautiful dreams. Be safe. I have such hope for you. You are special. You matter. You may be the oldest/middle/youngest but you matter like you’re the only. I love you. You make me smile just by existing. I’m sorry that I failed you today. Rest your heart and mind tonight and we’ll try again tomorrow. I’m praying for you. Jesus loves you. Good night.
My oldest two are away right now visiting their dad and his parents. It’s been almost a week since I’ve been able to tell them goodnight. But even though they haven’t heard it, I’ve whispered it at the moon knowing they are looking at the same moon.
Good night my dear children. Sleep well. I love you. And as I hold Liam, I long to hug all of you. Good night.