I was going to write a deep post about Valentine’s Day and the joy of celebrating each other and all that romantic gushy stuff that goes along with it – I had it all written out and ready to go but for whatever reason couldn’t post it. However, I spent the whole weekend thinking about love and what it really looks like in a marriage.
On Friday a friend posted the following on Twitter “How would you feel if your husband didn’t do anything for you for Vday? Really hurt! Ask me how I know…” I felt badly for her. My husband didn’t do a lot for me nor I for him but at least we went out for dinner and got a card for each other (the fact that I BOUGHT him a card is just embarassing considering I am fully equipped to MAKE him one but that’s a post for another day!). Then I wondered to myself “What if we hadn’t done those things? Would that have ruined our day?”
Her tweet made me look at and think about all the ways Tim shows me he loves me every day…not just on one particular day each year. As I went to bed last night I was reminded of those things once again and wanted to share them:
* he leaves my bedside light on for me when he goes to bed most nights (he goes to bed earlier than me Sunday – Thursday because of work)
* he tolerates my basket of clothes that serves as my dresser/closet until I decide it’s a priority and he only complains once in a while (could be worse…could be the entire bedroom being used as my clothing storage….)
* he has painted our entire house in the last year and a bit, some rooms more than once, in the colours I have chosen and without complaint – that’s a LOT of hours spent staring at ceilings, cutting in corners, taping trim, rolling paint & primer. Pretty sure he’d rather have been doing something else during those hours but instead he just turned on the music and got to work all because I asked.
* he kisses me and tells me he loves me every morning before he goes to work – even though I don’t always remember later that he did so because I was still sleeping.
* he allowed me to overtake an entire room in our house solely for the purpose of crafting…and hasn’t complained overly much as those projects have spilled out into the living room, dining room, family room and carport.
* he pushes me to eat my vegetables even though he knows he’s going to get no where on that front – I am NOT a fresh veggie lover unless I am picking them directly from the garden – pretty sure he must want to keep me around as long as possible!
* he lets me park in the carport even after getting me a remote car starter for Christmas last year (we had agreed that if I had the car starter I’d park in the driveway and he’d get the carport since he had to be at work so early and at least then he didn’t have to scrape his windows every day)
* he listens when I get all excited about things like cookware or diaper covers even though he doesn’t necessarily see the appeal or the need for more of either!
* he encourages me to follow my dreams and to do the things I enjoy doing
* he loves my kids and treats them like his own
* he thinks I am beautiful even when I am suffering from a bad cold and feeling anything but beautiful AND he doesn’t think twice about taking over care of the little guy so I can get the rest I need to get better
* he didn’t complain when circumstances arose that prevented me from being able to do anything around the house for months while pregnant – he just stepped in and took over and did whatever I needed him to.
* he lets me sleep in every weekend. I think it’s become a sort of special “daddy & son” time – after Liam has had his morning snuggle with me, Tim comes and gets him and I get to sleep for however long I can sleep. This last weekend I was able to sleep in until 10:30!! 😀
The list could go on and on….But I have come to realize that my husband doesn’t show his love in big gestures or gifts on special days. He shows it daily in the many “mundane” things he does that we sometimes don’t even think of as acts of love. I am a gift giver and love to receive them but I am learning to look for and recognize the little gifts I am given daily by this quiet, unassuming man of mine. The little things that add up and all say “I love you” every day all year long.
So while our Valentine’s celebrations may not be extravagant or costly, I feel like I have been given the crown jewels by this man of mine. His daily actions leave me with little doubt as to his love. They are a tangible reflection of his choice to love me until death do us part, for better or worse. I’ll take them any day over flowers and jewelry (although if he comes home tomorrow with some pretty bauble or bouquet, I will be very appreciative indeed!!!)….
(Photo credit to Carissa Clark of C’est La Vie Photography in Kamloops, BC)